I came across this article this evening about how Patrick Swayze's wife grieves the death of her husband. It further explains how other celebrities grieve the loss of their loved ones.
The Way We Grieve
The last line in the article is what stuck to me the most.
"There is no uniform approach to loss. “The only thing that's common is the feeling you're losing your mind," says Smith. "But once you share your coping rituals, however odd they may feel, you'll find you're not alone and not crazy at all. Then, you can start moving forward."
What are my coping rituals?
As you know, some of my rituals are: - honking three times (saying 'I Love/Miss You') any time I pass the cemetery; - leaving messages on Jacob's facebook page; - and recognizing the 'elephant standing in the room', that it is intensely painful to know that Jacob is gone from this earth - but it is assuring to know that he is finally completely whole in heaven where I'll see him again. These things keep me going in this world that has gone a little more lonely and cold because of Jacob's absence. Having a great wife, daughter, son, grandchildren, and family around also are essential in 'keepin' a going'!
ReplyDeleteI think your "Jacob" wall is a wonderful way of coping with grief. I love the pictures, and I really love that you want to put the "Laugh" design on top. Jacob would have liked that.
ReplyDeleteI also think wearing his t-shirts, using his t-shirt pillow, and his afgans and SHorter blanket helps.
As Dad said, when I am having really rough days, I remember some of the really hard days that Jacob had when he was alive - surgeries, transplants, trying to take meds, giving him heparin shots, etc. - and I am thankful that he will never have to go through that again. I love you and am so proud of you for doing this. I also think that walking by the river is a great thing to do be doing to help cope. Something about being by the water, trees, etc. just helps. Great topic.